Two times, in four years. That is exactly how many "kid-free, over-night trips away" Jason (@BoarshortDaddy) and I have had in the last -- you guessed it, four years!
The first trip was 2 months ago. Four blissful, kid-free days the first weekend of February, in New York City. The trip to NYC was to see Jason's favorite comedian Michael McIntyer (you can find our favorite skit of his btw here) and it was my big Christmas gift to Jason last year. We don't have family to help us or give us a break when needed, so the four day over-night trip to NYC was only made possible by the fact that our nanny had moved in with us a few months prior, and although she only works for us a few hours in the afternoons Monday-Friday while we run the daily operations of BIKINI BODY MOMMY™, she had graciously agreed to step-up to the plate so we could make this much needed four day, kid-free trip possible.
The result? We honestly hadn't even realized, until the second day that we were away from the kids HOW MUCH we needed that trip together!
When you are married, you hear all the time how easy it is in the daily grind of raising tiny humans to forget your own identity, let alone what your marriage and attraction to your partner in life is (outside of your role as "parents") but Jason and I didn't actually realize how TRUE that reality actually was until we had a chance to get away!
We always felt "in love" ... we always felt "connected" ... but it wasn't until we were away that we realized how much that "love" and "connection" we shared had become about our role as parents, and not about each other.
It took almost the first 48 hours that we were away for us to find conversation points that had nothing to do with work, or the kids... but once we re-found our connection and attraction point, the energy between us as best friends and partners in life was on fire.
After we returned from New York, we vowed to each other that we would set aside at least 24-48 hours every 2-3 months to try to get away to celebrate our love.
So in honouring our pledge to each other ... When a huge industry conference came up for us to attend in Las Vegas this week, Jason and I seized the opportunity to go, and even though we knew we had other obligations that would limit our kid-free getaway to only a 24 hours window of being able to get away, we booked our trip and made it happen!
"When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too."
Once again, the discovery?
While the first trip that we took to NYC took us four-days to fully reconnect as lovers and best friends... This 24 hour trip in Vegas? It was immediate.
As soon as we stepped off the plane and checked into our hotel room, there was an immediate exhale and the platonic connection we share as a couple resurfaced in an instant. There was no talk of kids, and only of each other. What made us happy, excited, in love with life... and perhaps more important, in love with each other.
In an era where "Relationship goals" has become a coveted hashtag, it is important to remember that the true meaning of much the sought after phrase has nothing to do with a photo... but rather, the connection that people FEEL from the energy shared between two people.
And it is important to remember that... THAT "energy" doesn't just manifest between two people who have been together for YEARS, without WORK.
The moral of the story is this:
FIND A WAY.
Your Marriage. Your Love. Your Friendship. Your Partnership in life ... is too important to put on the back burner. Your partner deserves your undivided love and attention as much as your children do.
Your marriage is the foundation on which the stability of your family thrives.... NOURISH IT.